August 12th, 2008
The past few days I’ve been feeling rather lost, and empty. More lost than empty, but they sort of go hand in hand in making me feel like crap. Maybe Dr. Bella will be able to work his psychological 
magic on me tomorrow and get me out this stupid state, because it’s not very fun. Anyway just thought I’d share with you the opening to today’s journal entry. I clearly have no motivation to write about anything else. But just the opening.
excerpted from today’s journal entry
I tell people all the time that I don’t know what to do about my future. But I don’t think they really understand exactly how lost I really am when it comes down to it. All they ever tell me is not to worry and that it’ll eventually come to me. Yeah, well, if they know the future so well, they should be lottery jackpot millionaires by now, or something like that. I mean, seriously. How do they know? What if it doesn’t eventually come to me? Sometimes I think the reason why I can’t figure out a direction is because I simply don’t have one. A future that is. And I don’t mean homeless kind of no future, I mean six feet under the ground before I’m pushing 30 no future, if you catch my drift. And yes, that might be a morbid thought, but what if its the truth? Maybe that’s exactly the reason why I can’t find an answer…
I tell people all the time that I don’t know what to do about my future. But I don’t think they really understand exactly how lost I really am when it comes down to it. All they ever tell me is not to worry and that it’ll eventually come to me. Yeah, well, if they know the future so well, they should be lottery jackpot millionaires by now, or something like that. I mean, seriously. How do they know? What if it doesn’t eventually come to me? Sometimes I think the reason why I can’t figure out a direction is because I simply don’t have one. A future that is. And I don’t mean homeless kind of no future, I mean six feet under the ground before I’m pushing 30 no future, if you catch my drift. And yes, that might be a morbid thought, but what if its the truth? Maybe that’s exactly the reason why I can’t find an answer…
I have started on a new screenplay, by the way. Well, sort of. At least I’m attempting to. Still trying to get over the lost draft file to my last project. Thats 100+ pages of my life gone. History lost. Awesome.
